The company recently ran some numbers on response rates for messages sent between almost a million otherwise compatible men and women of varying races, and the results are eye-opening. As a control group, the folks at OKCupid examined reply rates based on zodiac signs. It probably comes as no surprise to the seasoned Internet user that, in general, the ladies have a better chance of getting a reply to a sent message sorry, fellas! These three types of women only respond well to white men. They respond less than any other group, and they respond least of all to black women.
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"White Guys Suck" & Other Insights from OKCupid Study on Race & Online Dating - ReadWrite
Something interesting happens every time I write a story about gender issues. Men I know, and many more I do not, reach out to me to tell me they feel wronged — silenced, even. I raised an eyebrow and moved on.
It finally took an email from a well-educated, professionally successful and mostly very progressive male friend of mine featuring a link to a video of women beating up men to make me fully take notice. I had previously dismissed those arguing that an increasingly equal society had made men the suffering sex.
But as frustrating as the pushback felt, it became increasingly obvious that there was no denying the consistency, and therefore validity, of the feelings that were being thrown at me. Acknowledging the validity of this sentiment, I began to wonder if silencing was legitimately what was going on. So I thought to really understand how misunderstood, robbed, wronged and silenced men felt, I should hand over the microphone to them. Now a lot of guys have to watch what they say. But for many men I spoke to — chosen because of their diversity, openness to dialogue, honesty and lack of overt disrespect towards women — it went beyond no longer speaking freely.
Frustrations seemed to run quite deep. But he fails to see why he should be held accountable for problems that are systemic, and to which he did not necessarily contribute to. I might be more likely to get a job, but I am not necessarily the cause for any of those things. Coss says that in conversations with friends and potential female romantic partners, his experience has sometimes felt disregarded and he has felt misunderstood. He says this laughing, but with no audible irony.
The whole system is changing drastically with the coming of the information age. Like all men interviewed, Chhikara does not deny the historical presence of male privilege. That presence is what makes its loss harder, he says. Such a feeling matches up to a number of recent studies done on race and perception in America.
One study from showed that despite still persistently experiencing much better outcomes when it came to income, employment, home ownership and health, white Americans felt that as black Americans had gained in rights over the second half of the 20th century, white Americans had experienced a mirror decrease in rights.
This understanding is false — both when it comes to race and gender — says Kimmel, the professor of sociology. Gender progress, just like progress towards a more racially equal society, is far from a zero-sum game. Lindsey says this is more of a question of learning to create space for other people, and understanding that your thoughts and ideas do not automatically get to be at the center of all conversations.
John Acosta, a year-old design student who grew up in what he describes as a small, conservative town, says that as he has traveled and lived in different cities across the US, he has had to learn to repress some of the behaviors he was taught were right, or polite, growing up.
I think, OK we are equal. But I still worry. Does she realize that I am not giving her my seat because I think she is as capable as I am of going that one stop? When he was an installer at a furniture store, he would go out of his way to help his female bosses, but he quickly had to revisit his approach. Jose Oliveras, a year-old bike messenger and independent contractor, says it is hard to know how to talk to or approach women nowadays. Feminism has made him unsure about courting rituals, and driven him to silence.
You are removing the men who are trying to create a bond with you. It is confusing, and the mixed messaging can leave men feeling portrayed in the wrong way just for trying to do the right thing. They feel they are being invaded. Coss, the butcher, flags that we should be aspiring to be ending patriarchy and marching towards equality, not creating a new world order of matriarchy.
That presumption is not shared towards straight white men But having that presumption [about straight men] is still a presumption.
Both Lindsey and Kimmel agree there are many parallels to be drawn between these kinds of feelings, and the rhetoric used to enable and justify the political rise of Donald Trump as a presidential candidate although none of the men interviewed for this article declared themselves to be Trump supporters.
And not making presumptions goes both ways, he states. Topics Gender. Reuse this content. Most popular.